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Have the Courage to Be Yourself.

Someone once asked Osho: "Why am I so scared to be myself?" His response was very interesting:

"It is as if society has a strategy to condemn you for who you are but they then encourage you to be like someone else."

Can you relate to that?

After listening to Osho talk on that topic my understanding is that the conditioning comes mainly from our parents, teachers and religious instructors. In subtle and not so subtle ways we are told that our natural energy and natural instincts are wrong. For example a child in school may look upwards to the ceiling so that she can think in pictures. The teacher thinks that the child is daydreaming and tells her sternly: "You won't find the answer up there, look down at your desk." As a result the child may be develop a learning disability, unless she can learn to visualise looking downwards.

Another child may gaze out the window. In NLP terms she may be thinking in words, or she may be entering a trance state to access information from her unconscious mind but to the teacher she is day dreaming. Let's say that every time she day dreams she is reprimanded in a harsh tonality. Consequently as an adult she might find it difficult to relax. Conditioning from the parents comes in a similar manner.

Parents may make the child eat when she is not hungry, go to bed when she is not tired, enroll in a course of study or a sport in which she is not interested and so on. Religious instructors may tell the child that she is born in sin, that women are the doorway to hell, that sex outside of marriage is bad and so on. I am sure that you can think of dozens of examples where society tells the child that it is not okay to be yourself.

What happens is that the child learns to associate negative feelings with her natural energy, and then when she tries to follow her natural energy she feels guilty. She might also become confused as to why being herself feels wrong.

The other side of this sad story of conditioning is that society offers us a solution which is designed to lead us further away from ourselves. They tell the child to aspire to be like someone else. "Choose a role model such as a sports star and work hard to be like that person." Religious instructors may tell the child to be like Jesus, Buddha or Krishna. Of course we all know that is absolutely impossible to be like someone else. You can only be yourself but if you look at some personal growth books they also seem intent on helping you aspire to be someone else. They tell the adult to set goals such as: "Set a goal for the person you want to be." But if you can't be in your essential energy then how do you know what you want from life? And sadly many people desire exactly what society tells them they need. For example, a new car, house, holiday, TV, etc. But if these goals weren't what the person really wanted then they attain them they will feel just as dissatisfied and empty as before.

The only way to set goals that bring fulfillment is to first get an idea of who you are and one way to do this is through the Wealth Dynamics personality profiling. Another way is through the practice of meditation. You see, every society needs to condition the child to fit into society so we all develop limiting beliefs around who we are and what we can achieve but once you are an adult you no longer need your conditioning. Let me give you some analogies. Once you can ride a push-bike do you still need the training wheels? Once you can drive a car do you still need to think about how to drive the car? Once you can walk do you need to think about how to walk? Once you can touch type do you need to think about where to put your fingers?

The truth is that once you have learned a behaviour there is no need to think about how to do it. In fact thinking about how to drive a car while you are driving would make you tense. You also don't even need the belief that you can drive a car because once you can drive you should have have a knowing. Beliefs are only useful where there is doubt.

As an adult it is time to let go the conditioning and the limiting beliefs. One does not even need to replace the limiting beliefs with ones that support you. All you need do is strip away the conditioning and allow your essential energy to lead you through life, and as you follow your essential energy goals will reveal themselves to you our of your creativity. And just working towards these goals should bring you immense satisfaction and joy. So rather than being too obsessed with the destination one just learns to enjoy the journey. __ © Author Abby Eagle

Copyright © Abby Eagle

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